When I started this blog it was supposed to be an outlet for my worst ideas, my sickest thoughts and disturbed fantasies. I wanted to scrape the underbelly for shit’s and giggles (Lulz). But, never in a million years of talking about fucking the shit out of Betty White or praising the devilish sainthood of Don King could I imagine the horrible shit that republicans manifest in real life. I can be pretty depraved I don’t think I’ve really scratched the surface here as I had hoped, but every time I turn on the news it seems like I keep getting trumped by reality!
A while back I worked at a Heavy Metal club in Atlanta, and the depraved, lovely, lunatics I worked with all had demented senses of humor like my own. We would often joke about rape. Not really about someones rape just using the word as an adjective where it didn’t belong. I would say things like “It’s Rape time in Rapeville” at the start of a shift. As a member of the security we each had to take turns doing pat downs, of patrons as they entered the club. This seemed even to us as something of a violation and it felt slightly rapey. Now before anyone get’s all up in arms, I know the difference between real rape and a simply security pat down, I have known many people who were raped, I once had a girlfriend raped and I know that it is no laughing matter. I have two younger sisters and have always stood up for women and used my fist for good on this front. I do not condone or support rape. My playing with the word was simply black humor (black as in dark not African-American which I happen to be), it was no different than using racist humor. I mean I joke about a lot of things that are wrong, like bestiality, murder, genocide, not that I am for any of them. Anyway I’m getting off track I just wanna say I know it was fucked up that’s what made it funny. But what the Republican dick-wads are trying to do is not funny, it is fucked up on another level. My jokes about being “Rapey McRaperton Mayor of Rapetown Population You!” does not affect the laws that govern other people. My dark humor (to y knowledge) has never threatened anyones life. Yes, I have joked about eating children, but these fuckers are trying to redefine the word rape.
The Tea-Party backed bill, ostentatiously named the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act,” otherwise known as H.R. 3, was introduced by Rep. Chris Smith (R-NJ) in January which will make permanent the “Hyde Amendment,” which is a provision banning the use of taxpayer subsidies for abortions that now requires annual Congressional renewal. But the issue is that the Republicans had made some changes to the diction of the bill, specifically in “SEC. 309. TREATMENT OF ABORTIONS RELATED TO RAPE, INCEST, OR PRESERVING THE LIFE OF THE MOTHER,” which shows a change in wording from “rape” to “forcible rape” and a change from “incest” to “or, if a minor, an act of incest.” The act “could take statutory rape or rape during mental incapacitation or while intoxicated off the table.” Who are these d-bags to say which rapes are “forcible” and which are not? And why is a victim of incest is only eligible for an abortion if they’re a minor? Those changes carry absolutely no legitimacy, and it’s a wonder how they ever got put into the document in the first place. Truly, no words could ever explain how floored I am. And I was once the Mayor of Rapeville!
Thankfully do to public pressure and the mocking of the Daily Show, they backed down from the language change a few weeks later, but the bill is still fucked up and seeks to undo the progress made by women in gaining control of their own bodies. With the religious conviction of Taliban fighter these black-heart-ed bastards plan a ripple effect with the legislation as employers would be pushed to offer insurance plans that don’t cover the costs of abortion, because the bill would prevent them from taking tax deductions for offering any plan that does cover abortion! It’s bad enough they don’t want anyone making under $250,000 a year to even have health-care, or that they think a jobs plan is cutting millions of people out of jobs in order to “reduce the debt”, these jack-offs are giving evil a bad name in a big way. Swept into office in November to create Jobs the only thing they have done is attack jobs, Plan Parenthood, NPR, and wage war on the female reproductive system. They have fired shots at Unions and in State legislatures coast to coast sought to undermine any vaguely progressive achievements. I don’t know what to do, it seems there are enough people screaming loudly on the religious nut-job side of things that they will actually make this happen! They will push America back into the stone-age and pretty soon I will have to move to the back of the bus and start drinking from a separate water fountain again! This time though women will be right there alongside me! It’s unbelievable the lengths these pieces of shit are willing to go! In South Dakota, Nebraska and Iowa they have backed legislation that would make killing an abortion doctor “justifiable homicide”! Called the “Pregnant Woman’s Protection Act” it lock steps with a Georgia bill that could call for the death penalty if a woman even so much as miscarriages! So get this straight ladies the republican’s will make sure you have that kid come hell or high water and when you do, you better be able to take care of it on your own without any assistance from the government, and no health care unless you get married to a Christian man who makes over $250,000 a year and owns his own small business, because we can’t afford you otherwise. Not that they’re offering an any sort of alternative if your child is born handicap do to the fact that it’s father was your father, or some midnight rapist!
Recently while on a pilgrimage to see one of the greatest bands in the universe; I had the privilege of driving through (what I was unaware of at the time) Americas unofficial 51st state. “51st state?” you ask! Yes there is a hidden state between Northern California and Southern Oregon called Jefferson. “Why hadn’t I heard about this state?” I’m sure you’re asking yourself. I asked the same question. Why hadn’t you heard of it! It was only formed in 1941! Yes it started the same year Pearl Harbor was bombed and America entered WWII (for the history buffs). I never heard of it until I drove past a barn with Jeffersonstate.com painted on the roof. So I looked it up and it turns out these guys were pretty serious-back in 1941! They held up cars with shot guns to pass out there “Proclamation of Independence”, basically they were a bunch of farmers that wanted the roads in their area improved, but when the war started they dropped their guns and fell in line, then when Obama got elected they got pissed off again and wanted to be they’re on state. They have a blog that claims to reach millions yet has only three entries (the last of which was in February). They also have a YouTube site with informative videos explaining how their plight is based more on California’s rising debt and Oregon’s unemployment, but if you visit their blog it seems to be more about Obama not having a birth certificate than any particular grievance. I’m all for political independence, I am first and foremost a fucking anarchist, but this whole “Tea Party/Libertarian” resurgence thing that’s going on just seems so racially motivated that it’s sickening. Perhaps it’s because my skin is brown that I can’t come to grips with the fact that now everyone is a gun toting conspiracy believer. I was into a lot of these theories of “one world government” when I was in high school, I was up on all the militia movement and radical theories before they were cool, but now it seems that the people that are all about fighting the government only want to fight it because someone is in power that doesn’t look like them. I mean seriously how come none of these puritans stood up to fight when George Bush led us into a false war, or any of the other countless bullshit crap that the previous administration was pulling? Where was the anger and revolution for the last ten years? Now all of a sudden people want to pick up arms and revolt? It just seems a little bogus to me. Would these same people be ready to succeed from the union if John McCain and Sarah Palin were elected? The State of Jefferson has its roots in a different time though so they can claim a pre-Tea Baggers right to revolt. They were mad at the federal government for not doing enough to help them extract the natural wonders from the land Yay! But, the name of their state was determined from a newspaper contest, in which the winner was awarded a whopping $2, which I’m sure was big money back then.