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Doomsayertunes: Apocalypse Playlist

The Official Countdown

Well it seems as if the message we sent out has reached a few of you in the great state of Michigan! Let’s get this Apocalypse started! Scientist are doing there part defying natural order and ushering the tipping point of Chaos! Gawker has provided a list for the survivors of what not to take with us in the New World. Now what we need are some tunes to play us into the end! It’s been awhile since we dropped some new Doomsayer tunes on you faithful Goatfucks, so we’re a little behind on some of these but if you haven’t gotten them yet we suggest you get your ass to downloading;

The Sword-Apocryphon:the title means“secret writing”, it was a Greek term used for a genre of Jewish and early Christian writings that were meant to impart “secret teachings” that could not be publicly taught. Now while there are no real secrets revealed on this album, there are some mighty powerful tunes that while still sounding like they were unreleased Black Sabbath recordings, are starting to sound like simply The Sword. The fourth album fro the Austin band and the first with new drummer Jimmy Vela, The Sword is starting to develop their own sound. Not that there was anything wrong with the old sound they were using, Apocryphon just sounds bigger and bolder. Seven Sisters and Eyes of the Stormwitch are particular gems, but for our money Dying Earth is defiantly on the apocalypse playlist.


Torche-Harmonicraft: The third album from this Miami foursome is pure sludge gold. Perfect Metal for firing up the old bong and watching NatGeo all day or firing up the old bong and watching the world burn. It bleeds right in with The Sword, the new Baroness and that has earned it a place on our apocalyptic playlist. It’s a short album with three songs clocking in under two minutes, showing off the bands punk-rock and grindcore roots, and proving all good metal doesn’t have to be epic ten minute operas. Of all the hard hitting tunes on this collection the last three are our favorites; Solitary Traveler, (the title track) Harmonicraft and Looking On are amazing songs that will be in heavy rotation as son as you hear them.


Pelican also released an EP earlier this year that we’d like to mention. And there are some notable hip-hop records out including the new Big Boi (from Outkast) album that we haven’t copped yet. We’ll cover those in a separate list. Just keep in mind that these things are fleeting and our goal is to destroy this world ASAP. You have until the 21st so get cracking!

Let’s get this Apocalypse Started!

You now have two weeks to put out your album, record your masterpiece, write the Great American Novel, finish that short story, publish your web comic or what ever it is you want to do before it’s all said and done. If you have a girl (or guy) you want to bone, now is the time! Anything you want to say to your boss, parents, or school teachers you better say it in the next two weeks. Regardless of whether or not you believe in the Mayan Calendar prophecy or not, the end is nigh. Shit is about to hit the fan, and we can make this so, if we all just work together and try. The time has come, this world has outlived it’s usefulness. Seriously what has this planet ever done for you other than hold you down with it’s gravity? What has this world ever brought you but grief? Do you really want to stick around for a Highlander remake starring Ryan Reynolds? Do you really want to continue to live in a world with Ryan Reynolds? This is it the big one, and it doesn’t appear as if a comet is going to strike the Earth or the sun is going to explode or at least their not telling us if it is), so it’s up to us. It’s up to you and me, the common man, to make this apocalypse a reality. They don’t want to give us the end times we’ve been waiting on so we have to go out and burn down everything on our own. Statistically speaking someone reading this has to be an arsonist so we’re looking at you to get the ball rolling. An please don’t burn something stupid like an empty barn or Detroit. Try and think like a Norwegian Black Metal singer.


I know to many backwards thinking Americas this may already seem like the end-times; a black man reelected to the White house, many of the Tea Party’s craziest defeated, gay marriage and marijuana on the rise, but trust me these are not signs of the end. These are actual good things. Which is why we here at Goat-fuckers HQ are worried that doomsday has been averted. We welcome the destruction of this world and though we have no doubt that Jesus will not return and no rapture will ever take place it doesn’t mean we can’t work together to bring about Armageddon! I’d love to be wrong, I would love to see the seas boil and the rivers run red, fire in the sky sounds lovely as well. In the end it really doesn’t matter if you’re waiting on the Four Horseman, Cthulhu, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster to come and take away your pain, let’s just get this done. We’re going to need more than a few arsonist lighting things on fire though, we’re going to need mass riots in the street, violent uprisings (Third World countries can’t do it all by themselves). We need ever paranoid schizophrenic in the country that’s walking around free thanks to the policies of the one true Anti-Christ; dear old Ronald, to go out and cause as much commotion as humanly possible. We need protest, and mas hysteria. We need people on the inside sabotaging the markets, we need ship boat captains getting drunk and crashing oil rigs into the coast of Maine and California. We need little old ladies wielding machetes at Shop’n’Save!


I don’t know if you’re aware, but the History Channel 2 has been running Apocalypse theme marathons for a week and a half now and they promise to keep going right up until the 21st so take a minute to get your crazy juices all hyped up on some of that then take it to the streets. We are sick of waiting for good people to stand up and fight back against the injustice that goes on all around us. We are tired of watching the culture and humanity of this world erode into homogenous commercialism. Everything is just another product to be bought and sold. We are sick and tired of waiting and waiting for this world to end. Nothing good is really happening (except for the weed and queer equality stuff we mentioned earlier). I mean sure GTA V comes out next spring, but we all have to make sacrifices for the greater good. Seriously do you want the planet to be around for this;

I mean seriously is he just doing the Pirates of Caribbean guy with a bird on his head?


I for one would like to know that we all went out before such atrocities accord, that we were spared the horrors of any more Johnny Depp movies. But I also warned against his evil back when 21 Jump St. was still on the air. For as long as we have left the staff here at  Goat-Fuckers will be churning out the hype and hopefully inspiring you to get out there and make it happen. If we don’t get this apocalypse in gear we may have to wait for 2014 which is when Terrance McKenna figured it out to be on the I-Ching. Though (whatever) God (you believe in) help us all, I’m not sure mankind can suffer for two more years with this kind of shit coming down the pike!

2012 Disaster Culture on the rise!

First off we would like to thank the good Doctor for lending us a hand while we were taking care of more pressing matters (like keeping a roof over our heads). I’m sure there are those of you out there who weren’t sure what to make of his left-handed path, or his calls to Midnight Ravers. Well, good, you should stay confused. Confusion is the key.

You can’t tell the woman from the man
No, I say you can’t, ’cause they’re dressed in the same pollution
Their mind is confused with confusion
With their problems since they’ve no solution:
They become the midnight ravers.

So there you have it! Any other questions you have for the Good Doctor can be directed at the man himself when he returns and trust me he will return.

In the meantime the Disaster Culture movement that we began in 2009 (earlier IRL, but for sake of arguing will go back to when we started this little blog), from movies to television shows everyone seems to be joining the cult of extinction. You all want to be End-Time Enthusiast! Zombies are this years Vampires, but they’re all equally undead.  We all feel everyone else is the walking dead. The build up to 2012 felt a lot like the pre-millinal tension that led up to the year 2000, only darker and more hopeless. Everyone appears to be seeing that the truth we goat-fucking idiots have long been trumpeting; that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. NBC is advertising it’s new Thursday night as the last comedies you will see before the end of the world! The world is ending-have a cocktail! Disaster fashion is seeping up from the sewers into the main stream. Doomsayer tunes have invaded the ears of the “normal” world. A new Grand Theft Auto is coming out! Politics (which have always been about disaster and doom) have trended to the extra-dark, proclaiming every budget deadline the end of everything as we know it. As the world outside of America awakens and revolts, Americans squeak out a meager attempt at socioeconomic rage, in the pitiful hash-tag movement in which a group of out-of-work college students camp together in public spaces while playing the latest Elder Scrolls on their Mac Air laptops.

The War never ends,

The War never ends, each day we fight, we are warriors for life.

If you traveled to 2010 from 1910, you would not be able to recognize the world today. With its Nuvaring commercials, mood altering pills, LG Smart phones with projector, a half-black president, women in power, internets, blue-ray disc, not to mention the fashion, or the alter rations we’ve made to the earth. GoatFucker.Com is dedicated to unveiling the sinister side of life, and expanding upon the destruction of modern society, the end of culture, reveling in the vile and perverse daily. We are celebrating the music, films, art, and people who are the frontlines of the culture wars. We have dubbed this new movement as Disaster Culture. We are anglers in the lake of darkness…

In future months we will be bringing to you;

Apocalyptic Sciences– presents medical discoveries, designer drugs, and cutting edge technologies, which may bring us closer to the brink.

Signs of the Apocalypse– reporting the news, and current events, which shows the end is here!

Doomsayer Tunes-showcasing the latest and greatest music, which will provide a soundtrack to the end times

Gods of the Armageddon –exonerating those on the vanguard of Disaster Culture

Words of Wisdom– offering thoughts, and opinions, on the end of days

Visions of Destruction-the GF alums favorite movies, both old and new, that represent the coming storm, along with reviews of current cinema that pave the way for the end and present Disaster Culture at its finest.

And last but not least…

Deviant Desires-which chronicles the depraved aberrations of our hyper-sexual society

Now playing: I Wrestled A Bear Once – You Ain’t No Family
via FoxyTunes