Fucking everything, one goat at a time!

Shut Up Crime! a Super review

Sunday I watched Rainn Wilson’s new movie Super. I rented it on Demand because I fucked off at the grocery store and missed the 7:30 show at the only theatre in town playing it. I had heard a lot about it and seen all the clips on YouTube, I was stoked. I had heard all the negative reviews calling it a darker less happy Kick-Ass, and had been intrigued by his obvious disdain for the genre in an article he wrote for EntertainmentWeekly. I knew going in that it was about a guy (Rainn) who loses his wife (Liv Tyler-yeah right obvious fantasy is obvious), to Kevin Bacon (does this count as two superhero movies for him this year since he’s doing X-Men: First Class too?). I also knew about (Juno/Kitty Pryde) Ellen Page as his kid sidekick, and that the movie was supposed to be “hyper” violent (a phrase that I adore), and all this made me want to see it more.

I had no clue that I wasn’t prepared for how “hyper” the violence was. It was obviously not a big budget film, it was filmed in Shreveport, Louisiana, about as far removed from Hollywood as you can get, and it shows. Which is part of the charm, they never say where there at in the film, and none of the characters have enough of an accent to even hint at what part of the country it’s in. This is to say, the story could take place anywhere. Immediately you get the since this will not just be a deconstruction of the vigilante superhero, and this will not be a smooth ride. After the set up we are let in on the fact that Frank (Wilson) has had pretty heavy schizophrenic visions since he was a wee lad. And I’m serious about the schizoid part! His full blown hallucinations are something that I personally have spent hundreds of dollars to achieve with no such luck as this guy (Happy Bicycle Day BTWs). The vision that leads to him becoming a costumed crime-fighter involves Wilson having his head ripped open and mind fucked by what he perceives as God, but has more of a passing resemblance to Japanese Tentacle porn! And if you have ever read Goatfucker.Com before, you know I love tentacle porn and people being raped by God-so this was awesome for me.

I guess I should have said *SPOILER ALERT* but if you’re too stupid to stop reading shit that you don’t want to know about then don’t waste your time commenting just go fucking die.

It becomes apparent fairly quickly that his mild mannered heroics (stopping drug dealers, bashing in the skulls of child molesters), with a monkey wrench, are not going to end well. With each successful outing Frank becomes more and more violent. In this he becomes more like the Punisher on a budget and without the Rambo training, than Kick-Ass. Kick-Ass by-the-way was a much more violent comic than the movie, and judging from all the crying online about the darkness and violence of this film I see now why they had to dumb it down for the rubes in Middle America. This movie was more realistic about it’s portrayal of violence, but it was still cartoonish and even funny. Who here hasn’t wanted to split someone’s head open for cutting in line? More so than I would for someone selling drugs, they’re providing a service that people want, if you’re too moral to handle drug use then you’re more like Frank than you care to admit and probably that’s what scares people about this movie. It’s not glorifying some lunatic who talks to god and starts cracking strangers over the head. It also begs to question to all the Batman fans out there the people that applaud the rich billionaire who takes it upon his lofty self to clean up the streets from the niggers and scum that are trying impeding on our perfect Christian lives. Frank is a loser who sits around alone watching Christian Superheroes on one of those shitty Jesus channels. Fuck Frank he’s not my kinda guy he’s a shmuck who believes the TV is talking to him! He probably watches the shit out of Glenn Beck.

The other characters aren’t all that great either, Ellen Page looking like a pedo’s wet dream is a bored 22 year old who works at a comic shop and bags hipster dweebs in her one bedroom attic apartment. She’s dying for some adventure and anything interesting to happen in her life so much so that she finds herself turned on by Rainn Wilson, who for all the money in the world would never bag a hipster hottie like Page! And that’s nothing against him, I have always said his character on the Office is my favorite, I think the guy is a genius and I’d love to see him get more work, but the fact is he’s the modern day Steve Buscemi! He ain’t winning no beauty contest. Any way back to Juno; her character lacks the moral understanding to know that keying your friend’s car is not an executable offense. I think it’s her character that strikes the biggest nerve. She is the product of a youth over saturated with violence, and made numb by it. Devoid of anything of her own she latches on to the first person that she’s as being deeper than their ironic T-shirt. She is amazing. And for the first time I saw her hotness. I thought she was cute in Juno and X-Men, but she looked thirteen, and she still looks thirteen in this, which is bad, but it works and she could defiantly hang out if I was in my twenties again. And like most art school dropout, hipster chicks (that have been around since before the term hipster came to its modern meaning in our lexicon), she is bat shit crazy! I will agree with the critics who have said that not enough was done with her character. We get our first glimpse of what’s up in this broads head just before we get to actually see what‘s in her head. And I won’t spoil that moment for you if you haven’t seen it but once you have you’ll know what I mean. Oh too far did I spoil it?

Liv Tyler and Kevin Bacon have to share most of their screen time which is all too brief. There are hints of coolness in Bacon, but he’s made out to be the villain in a fashion that I would have shied away from personally. He gives a great speech at the end that sums up Frank’s delusional mentality, before he’s put to it, and we find ourselves almost being shoe horned into an ending that didn’t quite fit. Through the whole movie you are shown that there are consequences to every act, each person meets a fate that was apropos to their story.  I won’t blow it, but I will say this, I would like to for once see a movie where everybody dies. I want a film where not a single character survives and no lessons are learned, nothing will be heart-felt! All in all it was a great movie and if anybody tells you different fracture their skull and tell them to shut-up!

Now playing: Johnny Cash – Wanted Man
via FoxyTunes

One response

  1. Great thoughts on the movie. I can’t wait to see it now. It is shnowing at our local tonight.
    It is a shame a great guy like Kevin Bacon is not in any more films. He seems to have in the last decade.

    07/08/2011 at 6:13 AM

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