Pop Stars all want to be Grace Jones!
What the fuck is going on in Pop music these days? I mean pop music has pretty much always sucked. From the days when Pat Boone was the biggest name in music to Elvis, The Osman’s in the seventies, Madonna in the 80’s, U2, Britney Spears, up to the Lady Gaga’s and the rest of the lame horrible no talent mass marketed fucktards that populate the airwaves and are the real reason aliens haven’t made open contact with our primitive race. I mean if we are stupid enough to pay for the Black Eyed Peas then we are too dumb to have a intelligent conversation with anyone who can build a fracking star ship! Yet as an armature social anthropologist I watched the 2010 MTV Video Music Award’s just to see what the general population is into these days. I already realized last a few years ago that I was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too old to be watching anything on MTV, but recently I have been sucked back into the Real World and the commercials for the VMA’s peaked my interest enough to check them out before Mad Men came on. So in actuality I only watched the first hour and the last ten minutes. I also watched the red carpet bally-who, which is where I saw that jack-ass from that crappy Pop group Black-Eyed Peas, you know the one that made that shitty Obama song! Yeah that jack-ass. Imagine my surprise when I saw him standing there next to Niki Manaj’s ass ( literally her ass was all you could focus on-it was so huge and round she couldn’t even move in her purple and pink PVC fetish wear, although my sister claims her ass is indeed fake, its still impressive) dressed as Grace Jones! Yes Grace Jones! I know a lot of people on the inter-webs were up in arms over his black-face. Calling it inappropriate and racist (although a black man in black face isn’t really racist is it?), I thought it was kinda dumb, but then I am old enough to remember Ms. Jones and all of her blackness doing the same thing long before Mr. I. Am. In fact with that pink armband he looks more like a member of some Grace Jones Nazi Youth. Jones for her part has already called out that tranny calling himself a Lady! So there’s no need in going into the countless comparisons between the two. But it seems all of the Pop world owe a dept to Grace who like them used wild costumes and a strong following from the homosexual community to propel her self into international stardom despite an utter lack of any musical talent. Choosing instead to be an avant guard performance artist who spent more time grabbing sensational headlines than creating anything even remotely listenable. After Will I. Am and Niki Manaj ripped apart the classic Buggles tune (Video Killed the Radio Star), there was a all to boring performance by Eminem who seems to have fully embraced his homosexuality after years of beating his stupid wife over it. The guys from Jack-Ass drug there 40-year-old broken bodies out to promote their latest wast of film. There was some smoking hot red-head that sounded exactly like Kate Bush in there too. Then this lesbian came out and pretended to be a 15 year-old boy. Seriously I have nothing against trans-gender people, but what is it with so many of them being pop icons this year? It would be one thing if they were open about it but pretending to be something else-didn’t they see Boys Don’t Cry? This never ends well. After that little lesbian finished lip-syncing, I had to change the channel and watch some sweet, sweet Mad Men. As usual I was good and drunk by the end of the episode and flipped back in time for the surprise of the evening. I’m not talking about the surprise appearance of 72-year-old Cher hobbling out in the same damn outfit she wore 25 years ago when she showed off her sex change on that battleship. The star of last years award show and perpetual loudmouth gave a performance straight out of the some Lower Manhattan artist space circa 1985. Complete with bright red suit, gold chains, and ballet dancers. Since when did hip-hop equal ballet? There was very little hip-hop about Kanye left anymore,but I hate to even admit this but, I kinda liked the song. I know, I know, blasphemy right, I still hate the man, and wish everyday he would have died in that car wreck that made him famous, but he does create some catchy tunes. I would never be caught dead even downloading his shit for free much less paying for it, but I can’t lie and say that the song he played (as a fuck you to all those who criticized his running on stage to make another talentless hack cry) was bad. No, no all in all watching what little of the VMA’s that I did made me realize that the days of Seals and Croft weren’t all that bad.