Now You too Can Be The Goblin King
Okay! Where to begin…? Annoying jack ass screaming at me-check. A bunch of pony-tailed street jugglers thinking this is their big break-check! Stupid Emo chick obviously reading from Que cards-check! A bunch of dumb random people clearly confused about how to say the name-check! Crazy old lady pledging to buy the product for her grandson she never sees and is actually 21 and hooked on meth-check! Oh and the bullshit product you promise will change everything in the viewers sad and pathetic life-check and double check! What the fuck is going on here! For $19.95 I can be just like David Bowie in Labyrinth! Seriously? These assholes want us to think this is some kind of new “magic” ball that will “confuse” your friends. Chances are if you sitting around playing with balls you either don’t have any friends or you have the wrong kind of friends. This horrible new commercial is on like thirty times a night! I can’t take it anymore, it’s so fucking load, I’m way too high for this shit at three in the morning. The sad thing is I bet this stupid shit catches on. Even though they are not “new”, and you can’t just pick them up and use them, it takes years to learn how to preform contact juggling (which is what it is). But because people are sad and lonely, and the jack-offs with extra money to blow always spends it on dumb shit like this. I mean the last dumb late night infomercial that annoyed me this much was this dumb piece of crap-and I actually see people using these in real fucking life.
Those weren’t even Bowie’s hands, he’s got much better shit to do than learn stupid juggling tricks-like banging Iman!