Fucking everything, one goat at a time!

Gods of the Armageddon; Monsieur Mangetout

When I was a kid I loved the Guinness Book of World Records. Unfortunately for my mother (and my body) I also liked eating stuff. Not your typical stuff like pizza and cake (although I did enjoy those as well) I also like dirt, glass, plastic, and occasionally metal. what I was becoming is known in old circus sideshow terms as a “geeker“. Sadly my geeking habits never went further than drunken party tricks or ways to gross out kids in the back of English class. I have personally eaten bottles, cans, all sorts of small toys, loose change, and a few blocks of wood, but the man who has inspired me for so long was Michel Lotito, a.k.a Mr. Eats-All! I probably first read about this guy when I was in 5th grade, he is single-handily responsible both for showing me that it was possible and showing me that  could never do what he did and find another career path. Now where as my mother would be thankful I did not choose geeking as a profession, I’m sure she wishes I would have never read about him all together. Mr. Eats-It-All (who passed away from natural causes in 2007) was probably most widely known for the consumption of a single engine Cessna 150. He began chomping on the plane in the late seventies and didn’t finish it until the early 80s. In his life he consumed an innumerable amount of bicycles , shopping carts, and television sets, not to mention hundreds of razor blades, plates, coins, glasses, bottles, beer cans, bullets, nuts and bolts, knitting needles, and records. Doctors frequently subjected him to X-rays, and concluded that (at least) part of what he consumed was broken down by his unusually powerful digestive juices. Specialists also found that the linings of his stomach and intestines were twice as thick as the average persons. A true to life goat(fucker)man, while he could eat metal and other indigestible objects, his digestive system did not cope well with soft foods such as eggs and bananas, which he frequently said made him sick.  In 1981 he was attacked and stabbed, receiving severe life threatening internal injuries. He underwent major surgery and recovered surprisingly quickly. Three weeks later he ate a robot!

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Now playing: Gogol Bordello – Undestructable
via FoxyTunes

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